Recently I have been anxious about future plans and excited for what's to come. to be honest I have no idea what that is but I've been feeling recently that I need to do something very different, something that will throw me out of my comfort zone and get me to toughen up. I've certainly been challenged as a first year teacher, but i'm looking for new challenge that will force me to take action with the things I care about and force me to really apply and expand my religious, moral, and academic education.
With all this excitement I must be careful not to get too ahead of myself. A big lesson I am learning in life is that it is not about taking jobs or moving to places where I can feel the most comfortable or where I can grow the most. Instead it is about finding the place where I can use my skills to give the most. Of course growth and enlightenment come with this, but acquiring those is not the ultimate goal. The Christian Science Bible Lesson never fails to be applicable to my thoughts, experiences, and challenges every week. This weeks subject is LOVE. Two particular quotes stood out to me from the first section: "let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." (James 1:4 let) and from Science and Health, by Mary Baker Eddy: "Wait patiently for divine Love to move upon the waters of mortal mind, and form the perfect concept. Patience must 'have her perfect work' " (454:22).
I think that last statement is referring to the healing waters of Bethesda where one could be healed by touching the water after the heavens 'moved' it. But for me, both of these statements can be applied to so many situations in life - desire to find a new job, travel, find a boyfriend, get the money I need, etc. All of that has to do with needing certain things to occur or to arrive before we can be happy or feel complete. According to both the Bible and SH we must be patient and give God time to "form the perfect concept"....why would we want to rush and receive anything less than perfect? I'd like to add another thought to the pile. It's one that I gained from reading Eckert Tolle's book "A New Earth" --> There is nothing we need to wait for because all we ever need to realize our complete identity is right here, right now. Perfection is present because it is not formed or gained by material circumstances and objects. What a relief! all that time spent day dreaming and creating constructing ideal moments/situations in our mind is a distraction from the complete, perfect life that is in the present moment. Why waste time thinking about something that has already happened or could possibly happen? --> that's thinking about things that don't even exist! Once we decide to be still and dedicate our energies to the present moment we'll realize that there can be nothing more.Wow, even writing this out helps! So I'm going to really 'be' this week and start being the person I am and want to be rather than waiting for the right circumstances to give me the permission to change.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
At least one good thing this week
1. Spanish 2 Friday afternoon --> although it may have been a little out of control, spanish 2 was fun. 5 minutes before class starts 5 out of the 11 students run into my office and ask if they can run to get food from the school store. it being the the afternoon and the last day of the semester, (and me being the softy that i am) I told them to go quickly and get the darn food. So they arrive 5 minutes late to class, wired and energized and in no condition be focused in any way at 1:45 on the last friday of the semester. we started commands, or mandatos, as they're called in spanish the day before so I decided to play a little game with them. Split into two groups the students had to come up with 5 formal commands (in spanish of course) to make the other team do. i.e, hagan un pirámide humano, actúan como pollos, cantén el alma mater de Emma Willard, etc. (yes they're very creative those girls) well the human piramid was the best one. then after successfully completely this activity we all sat together on the floor and we read two classic children's books in Spanish that I had found in the education section of Barnes and Noble - La Oruga Muy Hambrienta (Hungry little catepillar) y El Árbol Generoso (the giving tree). As they ate their chips and dip they sat enthralled like little children at the beautiful pictures in each book. It all felt a little juvenile but it was fun and they seemed really into it. nothing like calming kids down with a good book.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
good teaching week
As you can see from my last post, it's been a pretty good week. I also should add that things have gone quite smoothly as far as teaching goes. I've feel much more relaxed in class. I used to be planning and fine tuning those plans up until the last minute before class. Add onto that that I would enter my classes super nervous and I'm sure my students could tell. After more than one observation, Marilyn noted that the pitch of my voice gets higher when I'm nervous and unsure. Thanks goodness that has subsided a bit! I think the high voice was the icing on a not so good cake that was overly decorated and detailed. I was too uptight and trying to make everything perfect and feeling like it was my huge responsibility to educate them. If they didn't get it, or weren't doing well then it was my fault. Geez! why do I take everything so darn seriously!
I think the change in 'performance' and confidence came once I realized that I most likely will not be teaching next year. I know that I'm not teaching Spanish here and that I'm going to explore other options. So I've said to myself: "Self - who knows when, or even if, you'll be teaching again, so why not make the most of it. Have fun! Make mistakes! Keep it light! Laugh a little! You are not the only way these students can learn Spanish. it's a life long process to get into and master a language and you have to face the fact that not all of them will love it as much as you do. However, that doesn't mean they can't enjoy it while they are learning it!" yeah, that was a great revelation. I've also stopped seeing my students as these odd creatures who have some power over me. They are just kids! Why do I let them get to me! If anything, I should be the one that scares them! Ha ha, but know, I'm not that mean!
Each unit (of three chapters each) is structured around a different Spanish speaking culture. All the vocab, grammar, and dialogue relate in some way back to the culture. This unit we're in Puerto Rico and the first chapter, which we just tested on yesterday, has a cultural reading on the music of Puerto Rico, specifically "Bomba y Plena"
(http://www.smithsonianglobalsound.org/archives_03.aspx). I've been a little frustrated because there is so much pressure to cover tons of vocab and grammar before the end of the year and focus on culture is often pushed to the side or given minimum attention. Well I truly believe that the reason you learn a language is so you can better understand and connect with the cultures in which the language is spoken. Unfortunately, I have skipped over many of the cultural sections because there just isn't time and I have to keep up with the schedules of my colleagues who are teaching other sections of the same class.
Today, however, I decided to prioritize culture. On the test there was a reading that mentioned a Bomba y Plena concert and although more knowledge of this cultural item wouldn't have really affected how they answer the question, I felt like a jerk that I didn't prep my students about this cultural aspect that was mentioned on the test. So I decided to take the beginning of the class today to do the reading in the textbook on Bomba y Plena and have them answer some questions related to the reading. Then I found two great videos on the Smithsonian website that demostrated the music and dancing. Know one has educated me yet on how to connect a mac to a projector (I've tried it myself but it's all the wires are twisted and don't fit. I feel like a dunce!) so I had all thirteen students and I huddle around my 12inch screen to watch these tiny videos. Throughout the video I could point out certain things we saw in the reading. Afterwards, I had them brainstorm a few other dances that they knew and from where in Latin America they dances came.
It was a good bonding experience. It made me realize that even if these students don't absorb and master all the grammar, they at least should be exposed to the rich cultural characteristics of Latin American and Spain. They may not remember my the precisely organized lesson plan about stem-changing verbs but they will remember me trying to demostrate dancing across the front of the room, trying to demonstrate tango (which I did today!). I'd like to find a way we can bring some Latin American dancers to Emma so that they can see the dances in action and have the culture come to life.
So moral of the story - I'm learning to chill out a little and not take everything so darn seriously. We gotta have fun in every moment, because its the only moment like it that we have.
I think the change in 'performance' and confidence came once I realized that I most likely will not be teaching next year. I know that I'm not teaching Spanish here and that I'm going to explore other options. So I've said to myself: "Self - who knows when, or even if, you'll be teaching again, so why not make the most of it. Have fun! Make mistakes! Keep it light! Laugh a little! You are not the only way these students can learn Spanish. it's a life long process to get into and master a language and you have to face the fact that not all of them will love it as much as you do. However, that doesn't mean they can't enjoy it while they are learning it!" yeah, that was a great revelation. I've also stopped seeing my students as these odd creatures who have some power over me. They are just kids! Why do I let them get to me! If anything, I should be the one that scares them! Ha ha, but know, I'm not that mean!
Each unit (of three chapters each) is structured around a different Spanish speaking culture. All the vocab, grammar, and dialogue relate in some way back to the culture. This unit we're in Puerto Rico and the first chapter, which we just tested on yesterday, has a cultural reading on the music of Puerto Rico, specifically "Bomba y Plena"
(http://www.smithsonianglobalsound.org/archives_03.aspx). I've been a little frustrated because there is so much pressure to cover tons of vocab and grammar before the end of the year and focus on culture is often pushed to the side or given minimum attention. Well I truly believe that the reason you learn a language is so you can better understand and connect with the cultures in which the language is spoken. Unfortunately, I have skipped over many of the cultural sections because there just isn't time and I have to keep up with the schedules of my colleagues who are teaching other sections of the same class.
Today, however, I decided to prioritize culture. On the test there was a reading that mentioned a Bomba y Plena concert and although more knowledge of this cultural item wouldn't have really affected how they answer the question, I felt like a jerk that I didn't prep my students about this cultural aspect that was mentioned on the test. So I decided to take the beginning of the class today to do the reading in the textbook on Bomba y Plena and have them answer some questions related to the reading. Then I found two great videos on the Smithsonian website that demostrated the music and dancing. Know one has educated me yet on how to connect a mac to a projector (I've tried it myself but it's all the wires are twisted and don't fit. I feel like a dunce!) so I had all thirteen students and I huddle around my 12inch screen to watch these tiny videos. Throughout the video I could point out certain things we saw in the reading. Afterwards, I had them brainstorm a few other dances that they knew and from where in Latin America they dances came.
It was a good bonding experience. It made me realize that even if these students don't absorb and master all the grammar, they at least should be exposed to the rich cultural characteristics of Latin American and Spain. They may not remember my the precisely organized lesson plan about stem-changing verbs but they will remember me trying to demostrate dancing across the front of the room, trying to demonstrate tango (which I did today!). I'd like to find a way we can bring some Latin American dancers to Emma so that they can see the dances in action and have the culture come to life.
So moral of the story - I'm learning to chill out a little and not take everything so darn seriously. We gotta have fun in every moment, because its the only moment like it that we have.
Woo hoo for long birthdays!
I've decided that Sunday is the best day to have a birthday because there are so many days to celebrate before, on and after it. This year served as a perfect example. Here in the Emma Willard community, birthdays, and just personal interaction and care in general, are very important. So, the week before my birthday i was getting birthday wishes, hugs, and hellos. My house mates planned a Friday night birthday outing with the young faculty members (and for a boarding school there are a good number of us!) We went to El Mariachi, a popular Mexican restaurant in downtown Albany. Saturday I spent the day with preparing myself for my birthday - sleeping in until 11am, making myself a yummy scrambled eggs and toast breakfast, reading, running 3 miles, talking on the phone with friends and putting myself to bed watching the movie Garden State.
From an outsider's perspective my actual birthday on Sunday could have been pretty uneventful but for me it was absolutely perfect. You see, I typically am working my booty off on Sundays to get ready for the week. But by the grace of God I was already pretty well prepared and found myself enjoying another day of relaxation and quality personal time (which I adore). As the evening rolled around, Kristi (one of my house mates)and I decided to order Chinese food and watch a movie on t.v. That worked for me! I was craving a birthday cake that Kristi had promised to buy but rainy/icy/yucky weather forbid any one from tackling the slippery streets. As I'm scarfing down mu-shu vegetable (I know Ally, my Chinese expert....that's probably not how it's spelled!) down i get a call from three of my students who proceed to sing a loud and enthusiastic happy birthday over the fun. It was so great to hear from them! Later on Jessie (house mate 2) made a batch of brownies and wrote 'Happy Birthday'in frosting on it. Yum!
So then you'd think that by day after my birthday I'd be all birthdayed out but thankfully (well actually not so thankfully because of the dangerous streets) the bouquet of roses from my parents that were to be delivered on Sunday, arrived during classes Monday. And thus the celebration lives on, keeping the top left corner of my work desk brightly decorated and smelling sweet!
Alright, so that was Monday and today my friends, yes today, three days after my birthday the residential hall where I am on duty 2 nights a week gave me a surprise birthday party. I had no idea it was coming and must have been very tired because I was completely oblivious to some actions of the students that almost gave it away. In the last 10 mintues of study hall, I noticed that an unusual number of students needed to head to the bathroom or to get more water and then head back to their rooms. I found it odd, but I'm not one to do much policing on this hall because I trust them. Then Melissa (houseparent on next hall over) comes to the hall saying she is going to talk to Gemma (the houseparent of the hall. She had her night off - hence why I was on duty) about something. By the way, I had spelled something very yummy baking and so when Gemma came out of her apartment I asked her what was baking, hoping it to be something for the hall. "Oh it's my advisee's birthday tomorrow.". Then she asks me to come into her apartment because she wants to discuss the upcoming community dorm program that I didn't hear about because I wasn't at the ResFac meeting on my birthday.
Anyways, I completely fall for it, enter Gemma's apartment and hear all about the program. Then Melissa says she must head back to her hall. I stay there because Gemma says I need to select 5 questions from a list that will be used for the program. I comply but midway through completing the task Gemma says, "well don't worry about doing it now. you can just get it to me tomorrow". It being her night off, I wanted to protect her free time and so agreed and decided to leave. Gemma opens the door to the hall to let me out and I see and hear all girls on my hall scream: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGIE!!!!!!! and then they proceeded to sing to me. Streamers were everywhere and I was presented with a huge happy birthday poster. That yummy baking turned out to be for my surprise birthday party!!!!! Lucky me! It was so great, especially because I didn't see it coming. Apparently when Melissa left before me the girls thought it was I who was leaving and so they started to shout and then had to hold it in. I, of course didn't hear a thing! I'm so gullible.
So yes, this was a wonderful long drawn out birthday and I am so blessed to be living with/working with such great, generous and fun people!
From an outsider's perspective my actual birthday on Sunday could have been pretty uneventful but for me it was absolutely perfect. You see, I typically am working my booty off on Sundays to get ready for the week. But by the grace of God I was already pretty well prepared and found myself enjoying another day of relaxation and quality personal time (which I adore). As the evening rolled around, Kristi (one of my house mates)and I decided to order Chinese food and watch a movie on t.v. That worked for me! I was craving a birthday cake that Kristi had promised to buy but rainy/icy/yucky weather forbid any one from tackling the slippery streets. As I'm scarfing down mu-shu vegetable (I know Ally, my Chinese expert....that's probably not how it's spelled!) down i get a call from three of my students who proceed to sing a loud and enthusiastic happy birthday over the fun. It was so great to hear from them! Later on Jessie (house mate 2) made a batch of brownies and wrote 'Happy Birthday'in frosting on it. Yum!
So then you'd think that by day after my birthday I'd be all birthdayed out but thankfully (well actually not so thankfully because of the dangerous streets) the bouquet of roses from my parents that were to be delivered on Sunday, arrived during classes Monday. And thus the celebration lives on, keeping the top left corner of my work desk brightly decorated and smelling sweet!
Alright, so that was Monday and today my friends, yes today, three days after my birthday the residential hall where I am on duty 2 nights a week gave me a surprise birthday party. I had no idea it was coming and must have been very tired because I was completely oblivious to some actions of the students that almost gave it away. In the last 10 mintues of study hall, I noticed that an unusual number of students needed to head to the bathroom or to get more water and then head back to their rooms. I found it odd, but I'm not one to do much policing on this hall because I trust them. Then Melissa (houseparent on next hall over) comes to the hall saying she is going to talk to Gemma (the houseparent of the hall. She had her night off - hence why I was on duty) about something. By the way, I had spelled something very yummy baking and so when Gemma came out of her apartment I asked her what was baking, hoping it to be something for the hall. "Oh it's my advisee's birthday tomorrow.". Then she asks me to come into her apartment because she wants to discuss the upcoming community dorm program that I didn't hear about because I wasn't at the ResFac meeting on my birthday.
Anyways, I completely fall for it, enter Gemma's apartment and hear all about the program. Then Melissa says she must head back to her hall. I stay there because Gemma says I need to select 5 questions from a list that will be used for the program. I comply but midway through completing the task Gemma says, "well don't worry about doing it now. you can just get it to me tomorrow". It being her night off, I wanted to protect her free time and so agreed and decided to leave. Gemma opens the door to the hall to let me out and I see and hear all girls on my hall scream: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGIE!!!!!!! and then they proceeded to sing to me. Streamers were everywhere and I was presented with a huge happy birthday poster. That yummy baking turned out to be for my surprise birthday party!!!!! Lucky me! It was so great, especially because I didn't see it coming. Apparently when Melissa left before me the girls thought it was I who was leaving and so they started to shout and then had to hold it in. I, of course didn't hear a thing! I'm so gullible.
So yes, this was a wonderful long drawn out birthday and I am so blessed to be living with/working with such great, generous and fun people!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
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